Acceptance

So today I have realized that me and Ej, It's never going to happen. He's moved on he's happy. There will never be an us again. It hurts but its a relief too. I'm done wishing, I'm done praying. Ej believed that I wished bad things upon him but I never did. I imagined doing bad stuff but never wished on a star or prayed to god that the worst would happen. He's gone and Ive accepted that. I wont be an evil baby momma either. We'll take a paternity test and if he is and decides he wants to be a dad so be it. I feel like crying but I feel as though I can get through this now, accepting that it will never be. I'm sure he's found his forever girl. Maybe I will find the one but I'm not ready. Honestly I want to cry. I dreamt about him yesterday. We had sex but we didnt finish I dont know why. I'm just sad. I don't hate him anymore. On a brighter note I got a job. I'm going to work at a Vet hospital. Something I've always wanted to do. Its the perfect job. Good hours and down the street from where I live. Now all I have to figure out is daycare. Congrats to me!