When Love Turns To Hatred

Today wasn't one of my better days. So remember my Ex the one who's baby I'm pregnant with? Well I'm unfortunately still in love with him. Well he likes someone else. Her name is Sarah and well that's his new boo. They get really cozy on instagram. They go to church together and he adores her daughter. He spends most of his time with her. He told me likes her but says they're not together because he's still in love with me. I think he just wants me willingly out of the picture. He tells me he cares about me but I'm out here with his unborn child and my daughter he claims he loves in the cold while he takes wild rides with her. He actually takes Sarah's daughter places for Sarah.  It's depressing. Now he has a good reason for not being with me. I don't want him to sleep with me spend a few hours with me but spend most of your time with her. Honestly I'm so angry. I hate him so much. He's actually left my house to spend time with her. Talk about heartbroken. He's made it clear that there will never be an us. Not to mention that he tells me he wants to be here for the baby but can't even tell me that if he's feeling well(We'll get to that part too) he'll be there at my labor and delivery. Its like pulling teeth to get him to appointments. I can't even talk to him about silly little baby things, like what should we name the baby, do you want a boy or girl. I didn't have my daughters dad with me either when I got pregnant (he was there when I gave birth though :) )because he's in the military. This time someone who I really didn't think would leave, and who I thought would care, doesn't. It doesn't matter how much he says he WANTS too as he would say his action's aren't proving so. He tells me he's busy. That's why he doesn't talk to me. Yeah your fucking busy with Sarah. Yesterday a customer came up to the counter and she looked similar to Sarah and I don't know it was weird i I think i might have given her a weird look because she stopped smiling at me. A little piece kinda broke and I almost started crying. I really want to punch him in his face so hard and break his nose. I can't because he knows how to fight but I just want to get one hit. So this has been on my mind for the past two months. Cry me a river.