Habits

Today I didn't go to work.  The wind chill was in the double negatives.  So I called off. I hope I won't get in too much trouble but it's too cold for my daughter and me to be standing outside. I learned that lesson Tuesday.  Today had its downfall. You know it's hard being pregnant and your significant other pretty much sticks his middle finger at you and walks away with another bitch. Yeah that shit sucks. So I cried for a really long time today. I've been so messed up about everything my daughters dad is actually coming tommorow to help me out mentally. Did I mention her dad and I were best friends before everything. Well he's leaving base to come out here for me. That is amazing.  I'm honestly excited because he makes everything better and he'll help out with my daughter and watch her while I'm at work and I could use the mental break.  Now your probably wondering if I'm still in love with him.  No I'm not but,  I still and always will care about him.  Right now I'm still madly in love with my ex but he's made it clear that he has no interest in me or us getting together.  So I will use what's left of my heart and love my babies. I'm sure loving them will heal my heart in time. Honestly if it wasn't for EJ being a super jerk I would be more excited about this baby but I'm slowly falling in love with my little nugget and I'm eagerly awaiting for kicks and tumbles. I always felt I could connect with Alena when she started kicking and if I was upset she would move around and press on my tummy and that always made me feel better.  EJ sent me this message it was some lyrics:   
Never thought that I would feel like this.
Such a mess when I'm in your presence.
I've... Had enough. Think you've been making me sick.
Gotta get you out of my system
It's my house. I think it's time to get out.
It's my soul. It isn't yours anymore. Isn't yours anymore.

Now I'm glad I didn't break down like I have been doing, which I'm proud. Pat on the back to me. Why would you send me this as though all your actions and even some of your text messages in the past two weeks haven't told me enough about how your not mine and you  don't want to be around me.  Like please stop sending me bull shit.

On another topic I've made a promising to myself that I won't sleep with anyone if we're not together and in love. My sex life gets me in trouble and in situations like this and I'm not about that anymore. Well it's getting close to bed time. I'm hoping for a smooth day tommorow .  Good Night blogging world.