Sunday, January 11, 2015

Loving and Growing

Yesterday was nice. I went to the mall with my daughters dad, her grandma and aunt. He had me go out even though I don't really feel like it. I bought quite a bit of stuff and I havent been able to buy myself much of anything lately. I was so happy. I got myself a coat and I got lucky because a lot of the stores had sales and i got two shirts for five dollars from Aeropostale and a $50 coat and i bought a sweater too but it was free! I've needed a coat for forever and I finnally got one and I don't have to be so cold at work anymore since my overweight manager and menopausal co-worker like the store to be borderline freezing as though its not cold enough outside. I also got a couple of belly rings and tongue rings.

My daughters father has been here for a couple days. Its been weird. He's here to help me deal with my ex better and its a little awkward. No we haven't had sex. Honestly the thought of Ej is the only thing that turns me on and that only makes me even sadder. he hasnt texted me in two days and I havent texted him. Him and Sarah are very into each other and I'm guessing he's just moving on from me completely. It's both heartbreaking and angering but I have to move on from this. I've been thinking about focusing on getting myself together. Trying to get my hair done every couple weeks and keep my toes nice. Waxing when needed. I need to pamper myself because I havent in months.

My daughter is growing up so fast. Shes growing everyday and I see her personality become more apparent. It's awesome. I worry about taking care of two and making sure they're on the right track. I almost never see her cause I'm working and that bothers me. I need a good job with good hours. I'm sorry I'm not the type to settle for just any job unless absolutely neccessary. I can't wait to feel this baby move around and kick. I feel a little bit but sometimes, I'm not a hundred percent sure.

So hopefully I can start writing my book this week. We'll see.

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